John has been a great help keeping me grounded and making sure I have food and am somewhere near sane. Our love continues to grow, though why on earth he puts up with me is beyond me. Seriously, when doing this kind of work, I am no fun. He claims I still can be. That's probably why we're together and so in love.
I am also teaching writing again at Fordham, which is lovely and also grounding...in the present.
Last night, I saw a friend from high school, Sue, who I haven't seen since the 80s. She lives in California but was visiting and we finally connected after all these years. Here's a picture of the three of us: John, Sue and me at the W. 4th Street subway stop. We lived one year in the same weird little George Washington slept here clapboard house at a tony boarding school (I was there on scholarship - see early blogposts for examples of my true dorkitude at that time). Sue was someone with whom I connected in my senior year when I was quietly imploding. We were both having a hard time. I don't think we ever talked about that but somehow intuited another struggling soul. And here we are now - lo these many years later at the subway station that was nearest my first apartment in NYC in the early 80s. We're older, more mature and have been through a lot. But here's the really true fact. We're alive and that's good:
|yes the dreaded 'selfie' x 3, but there we all are - Sue looks as gorgeous as I remember her in '81|
|yes we are still this silly happy with one another - and feeling so grateful to be together now|
The biggest news for me is once again Jill Lepore-related. Her book about Jane Franklin is genius and is giving me the courage to keep going with my grandmothers book, knowing by her example how important it is to give these neither rich nor famous nor infamous women voice. I think, given her definition of it in an article she wrote about the subject, that what I am doing is perhaps closer to 'micro history' than strictly biography or fiction.
The courage to keep on going with a project I have now worked on for over 3 years with no end in sight (research alone is taking me ages) and knowing I will continue thinking and rethinking it...that most of the hundreds of pages already written are destined for the trashcan...etc...is necessary. What I can't believe now is how willing I am to do all this groundwork, the ordering, the endless tasks of figuring out dates and details, etc. It's like a weird detective story (which is what Lepore says the best micro histories are) and I'm no Sherlock Holmes...just a kind of bumbling I'm not sure who or what...but it's happening and this sense of quiet accomplishment is growing inside me. Shhhh. Don't say it out loud a voice says in me...but well there it is...
So, back to work now...it may be a while before I post again. My goal is to get most of the documents written by Jani read by the end of February. I've read a ton, but there's a ton more. However, NOW, it's all - basically - in chronological order....please wish me luck. Send blessings, prayers, vibes, dances, whatever you believe in...that I may push through onto the other side...