A friend sent me this quote today and I felt I had to share it, especially for my female writer friends...and for any male friends who want to understand what may appear on the outside like almost psychotic levels of resistance from women they love to writing certain kinds of stories...this is what we're up against. No joke.
"To a
woman writer, exposing family secrets can seem perilously close to going mad.
Men have had the support of the culture as they recognized their own experience
and laid claim to it by writing it down. On the whole, they have been able,
without inhibition to feed their creative ambitions with the details of other
people's lives. Men had a mandate, after all, to inform the public about the
nature of life. Things have not been--are not--so simple for a woman. Women
have often withheld their stories, because honesty about emotions and about the
family feels to many women like a sin. It means drawing aside the curtain,
lifting lids. It means renouncing the role of good girl and ceasing
to be ladylike. It may mean expressing anger and being brave enough to watch
loved ones be angry. Women must set aside the bowl they have used to beg for
approval and praise. George Eliot was not free as an artist until her
respectable family had cast her out. Only a community larger than family, only
powers greater than lovers or husbands, can sustain women writers when they
start asking the big questions: Who am I? Who made me? What is my place in this
world?"
Kennedy
Fraser from Ornament and Silence: Essays
on Women's Lives from Edith Wharton to Germaine Greer. (This quote from New Yorker essay 'Demented Pilgrimage' published in
1990)
And George Elliot also changed her name. Partly so she would not be dismissed as a woman before anyone read her work. But I wonder fi also so she could speak freely without compromising friends and family.
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