As anyone who read the last post knows, I was feeling about as low as a person can feel yesterday. That lasted into today. Teaching was hard.
I then started calling friends, and they started calling back. After each phone call, I felt a little bit better. Later in the evening I went to a meeting with more friends, some known and some unknown, and celebrated my 25 years of life without alcohol or drugs. Other people were celebrating their anniversaries and we were telling stories, laughing, sharing pain - emotional, physical and every other kind - talking about walking through fires without the use of substances to dull the pain. The gift is - after the walk - feeling joy, what Rumi would call "the sweetness that comes after grief."
We went to a diner and ate chocolate cake, drank coffee and talked with, to and at each other - laughing, listening, not listening - a muddle of humanity, people who you would normally not see sitting together. You can see the confusion in other customers at the diner: who are these lunatics laughing their asses off - how do they know each other, they all look so different. The miracle of our true connection transcends all the boundaries we usually observe in this country between class, race and various status groups, careers, styles, etc...the bullshit boundaries that in this atmosphere, happily, dissolve.
So now, I feel loved, human, vulnerable, OK and definitely: not alone.
I find this simple human contact and connection a miracle. It has saved my life in every way for 25 years.
Thanks all you friends of BW and LW. Wherever you are.
Thanks, too, to my civilian friends who reach out their hands with equal love and devotion for no other reason that this simple, beautiful fact: they are my friends.
I love you all, more than I can say. Thank you. I can walk through this fire because of you all, even those of you I've never met. You can, too.
Welcome to my blog..
"We struggle with dream figures and our blows fall on living faces." Maurice Merleau-Ponty
I am now transitioning into being married again with a new surname (Barclay-Morton). John is transitioning from Canada to NYC and as of June 2014 has a green card. So transition continues, but now from sad to happy, from loss to love...from a sense of alienation to a sense of being at home in the world.
As of September 2013 I started teaching writing as an adjunct professor at Fordham University, which I have discovered I love with an almost irrational passion. While was blessed for the opportunity, after four years of being an adjunct, the lack of pay combined with heavy work load stopped working, so have transferred this teaching passion to private workshops in NYC and working with writers one on one, which I adore. I will die a happy person if I never have to grade an assignment ever again. As of 2018, I also started leading writing retreats to my beloved Orkney Islands. If you ever want two weeks that will restore your soul and give you time and space to write, get in touch. I am leading two retreats this year in July and September.
I worked full time on the book thanks to a successful crowd-funding campaign in May 2014 and completed it at two residencies at Vermont Studio Center and Wisdom House in summer 2015. I have done some revisions and am shopping it around to agents and publishers now, along with a new book recently completed.
I now work full-time as a freelance writer, writing workshop leader, coach, editor and writing retreat leader. Contact me if you are interested in any of these services.
Not sure when transition ends, if it ever does. As the saying goes, the only difference between a sad ending and a happy ending is where you stop rolling the film.
For professional information, publications, etc., go to my linked in profile and website for Barclay Morton Editorial & Design. My Twitter account is @wilhelminapitfa. You can find me on Facebook under my full name Julia Lee Barclay-Morton. More about my grandmothers' book: The Amazing True Imaginary Autobiography of Dick & Jani
In 2017, I launched a website Our Grandmothers, Our Selves, which has stories about many people's grandmothers. Please check it out. You can also contact me through that site.
In May, I directed my newest play, On the edge of/a cure, and have finally updated my publications list, which now includes an award-winning chapbook of my short-story White shoe lady, which you can find on the sidebar. I also have become a certified yoga instructor in the Kripalu lineage. What a year!
And FINALLY, I have created a website, which I hope you will visit, The Unadapted Ones. I will keep this blog site up, since it is a record of over 8 years of my life, but will eventually be blogging more at the website, so if you want to know what I am up to with my writing, teaching, retreats and so on, the site is the place to check (and to subscribe for updates). After eight years I realized, no, I'm never turning into One Thing. So The Unadapted Ones embraces the multiplicity that comprises whomever I am, which seems to always be shifting. That may in fact be reality for everyone, but will speak for myself here. So, do visit there and thanks for coming here, too. Glad to meet you on the journey...
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