Welcome to my blog..


"We struggle with dream figures and our blows fall on living faces." Maurice Merleau-Ponty

When I started this blog in 2011, I was in a time of transition in my life between many identities - that of Artistic Director of a company (Apocryphal Theatre) to independent writer/director/artist/teacher and also between family identity, as I discover a new family that my grandfather's name change at the request of his boss in WWII hid from view - a huge Hungarian-Slovak contingent I met in 2011. Please note in light of this the irony of the name of my recently-disbanded theatre company. This particular transition probably began in the one month period (Dec. 9, 2009-Jan. 7, 2010) in which I received a PhD, my 20 year old cat died on my father's birthday and then my father, who I barely knew, died too. I was with him when he died and nothing has been the same since. This blog is tracing the more conscious elements of this journey and attempt to fill in the blanks. I'm also writing a book about my grandmothers that features too. I'd be delighted if you joined me. (Please note if you are joining mid-route, that I assume knowledge of earlier posts in later posts, so it may be better to start at the beginning for the all singing, all dancing fun-fair ride.) In October 2011, I moved back NYC after living in London for 8 years and separated from my now ex-husband, which means unless you want your life upended entirely don't start a blog called Somewhere in Transition. In November 2011, I adopted a rescue cat named Ugo. He is lovely. As of January 2012, I began teaching an acting class at Hunter College, which is where one of my grandmothers received a scholarship to study acting, but her parents would not let her go. All things come round…I began to think it may be time to stop thinking of my life in transition when in June 2012 my stepfather Tom suddenly died. Now back in the U.S. for a bit, I notice, too, my writing is more overtly political, no longer concerned about being an expat opining about a country not my own. I moved to my own apartment in August 2012 and am a very happy resident of Inwood on the top tip of Manhattan where the skunks and the egrets roam in the last old growth forest on the island.

I am now transitioning into being married again with a new surname (Barclay-Morton). John is transitioning from Canada to NYC and as of June 2014 has a green card. So transition continues, but now from sad to happy, from loss to love...from a sense of alienation to a sense of being at home in the world.

As of September 2013 I started teaching writing as an adjunct professor at Fordham University, which I have discovered I love with an almost irrational passion. While was blessed for the opportunity, after four years of being an adjunct, the lack of pay combined with heavy work load stopped working, so have transferred this teaching passion to private workshops in NYC and working with writers one on one, which I adore. I will die a happy person if I never have to grade an assignment ever again. As of 2018, I also started leading writing retreats to my beloved Orkney Islands. If you ever want two weeks that will restore your soul and give you time and space to write, get in touch. I am leading two retreats this year in July and September.

I worked full time on the book thanks to a successful crowd-funding campaign in May 2014 and completed it at two residencies at Vermont Studio Center and Wisdom House in summer 2015. I have done some revisions and am shopping it around to agents and publishers now, along with a new book recently completed.

I now work full-time as a freelance writer, writing workshop leader, coach, editor and writing retreat leader. Contact me if you are interested in any of these services.

Not sure when transition ends, if it ever does. As the saying goes, the only difference between a sad ending and a happy ending is where you stop rolling the film.

For professional information, publications, etc., go to my linked in profile and website for Barclay Morton Editorial & Design. My Twitter account is @wilhelminapitfa. You can find me on Facebook under my full name Julia Lee Barclay-Morton. More about my grandmothers' book: The Amazing True Imaginary Autobiography of Dick & Jani

In 2017, I launched a website Our Grandmothers, Our Selves, which has stories about many people's grandmothers. Please check it out. You can also contact me through that site.

In May, I directed my newest play, On the edge of/a cure, and have finally updated my publications list, which now includes an award-winning chapbook of my short-story White shoe lady, which you can find on the sidebar. I also have become a certified yoga instructor in the Kripalu lineage. What a year!

And FINALLY, I have created a website, which I hope you will visit, The Unadapted Ones. I will keep this blog site up, since it is a record of over 8 years of my life, but will eventually be blogging more at the website, so if you want to know what I am up to with my writing, teaching, retreats and so on, the site is the place to check (and to subscribe for updates). After eight years I realized, no, I'm never turning into One Thing. So The Unadapted Ones embraces the multiplicity that comprises whomever I am, which seems to always be shifting. That may in fact be reality for everyone, but will speak for myself here. So, do visit there and thanks for coming here, too. Glad to meet you on the journey...

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Occupation politics and art

There I said it: politics and art.  The phrase alone can be enough to make you want to hide under a pillow.

In these days of Occupy Wall Street and all manner of in your face politics, what is the relevance of artistic experimentation?

I ask this as someone who has a history of political activism (and who has been at the sympathy OWS marches in NYC) and who also creates theater (primarily) that is on the experimental edge of experimental, what some would uncharitably refer to as 'elitist' or if particularly miffed 'pretentious.'

I see the connection, but I can also understand if it's not crystal clear.  And there's the rub: does everything have to be Crystal Clear?  Am I being somehow self-indulgent or whatever by working in associative meanings, formal experimentation that creates new ways of seeing/creating?  I'd like to say no, of course I would.  And I do, and have, worked very hard to make these forms as accessible as possible without diminishing the quality of the artistic experiment.

But, I'm also aware now that I am teaching students who are in college who have a hard time writing even the most basic sentence, that to do what I do means having had access to a very good education, sets of ideas that are not generally disseminated and the concurrent sense of entitlement that comes with that.  I can - and do - tell myself all manner of post-structuralist stuff about how cool this work is and how it can disentangle fascistic molar meaning with molecular constructions that are liberating, etc.  And I do even believe all that.

However, does it matter?  Like at all?

My feeling on this now is: yes and no.

Yes in that at the far end of how we conceive of the world involves language and ways of framing our reality and any kind of active investigation into that is important.  But no in that the actions of a handful of people who started sleeping in a public-private park downtown has had more impact on shifting the way we see thing politically not only in this country, but in the whole world, than any number of artistic experiments combined.

But, that is also comparing apples and oranges to a degree, because for people to have the imagination to begin the occupation, they too must have been exposed to ideas - political and artistic - that led them to that action.

My favorite origin story to what is shaping up to be a global revolution, is that many of the activists in Egypt and I think Tunisia as well were exposed to the work of a very old, but still alive, American academic, Gene Sharp who wrote a treatise on non-violence as a means to democratic change called from Dictatorship to Democracy.  I downloaded it from the NYTimes site when they posted it.  It's an excellent read.  And can you imagine that this fellow, 92 when Arab Spring began, could have imagined the impact his writing would have?

So I go back to my original hope that is: if experimenting with ideas and forms and if you have a political bent to begin with, which I do (as do many others), this can have some value.  The value is in opening up spaces for new possibilities, ways of conceiving other than what is given.  Everything happening now - that has been happening since the Arab Spring - is turning 'how it is' on its ear.  You have to know that's possible.  Certain kinds of artistic experiences can aid in that mind opening moment.

However, there are certain actions people can do in the world - sleeping in Zuccotti Park and not leaving - or setting oneself on fire in Tunisia - that - at the right moment (and timing is as key as action here) - can have a huge impact.  Action, bodies on the line, is what is most important.

And while it is not, nor meant to be 'theater' per se, these actions are highly theatrical (or in the academic parlance du jour - 'performative' - a parlance I use with somewhat gritted teeth having suffered enough getting a PhD and just wanting wanting wanting to go back to the old Strunk and White 2 cent words...)...And for all the social networking, which of course has had its place and been an incredibly valuable tool, without People on the Street, their Live Presence, Vulnerable Human Bodies on the Line, none of this would be happening.

This is the kind of action I dreamed of, this is the kind of action in my own little way I've tried to make openings for in my artistic work and of course all those seemingly futile political protest marches, sit-ins, teach-ins, articles, etc. I've engaged in, organized, written about...etc.

I am delighted that this generation of young people unlike my frankly sheep-like graze mindlessly to the slaughter generation (young in the 80s) is Awake and Fighting Back.  You guys Rock the House.  I would like to think/pray/hope those of us who kept the faith in the dark times kept open the stream for you, but no matter - you are doing it.  This is your time, and that's just great.

My little bit now is sending my kids from Bronx Community College downtown to check out Zuccotti Park, talk to people there and write about it.  They now see themselves as part of the 99% (not all of them but many - I'm not asking them to believe what I believe but simply to go see for themselves outside of the media filter what's up) and some are more engaged and enthused politically.

I also wrote a play in 2008 about the first financial collapse We live in financial times, Part 1: Blackberry Curve that resonates now more than ever.  I'd like to think this was my way of throwing into the ring some ideas that are now out there and having an effect.  We will be doing a reading of this play at The Brecht Forum in January, so stay tuned for that if you're interested.

This play, perhaps relevant to the subject of this post, is way more 'normal' in terms of form than my other work.  I did not decided to do it that way, it's just how it turned out.  The form falls apart by the end of course, but initially it looks like a recognizable play and story.  I wonder now if this was partially a desire, unconscious, to reach out to more people?  I don't know, but it's an interesting proposition.

I am, as the title of this blog indicates, in transition, so I want to take this valuable time to interrogate all my assumptions, including about what makes artistic creations relevant, vital, etc. and how that may or may not impact what I create.  I say may or may not because it's not always clear what will impact what.  I cannot make 'ideologically pure' art nor would I want to do that.  So, it's this balancing act that in my experience is worked out in the doing rather than the thinking.

I start writing a stage text and it comes out whatever way it comes out.  I start working in a rehearsal room or a lab space and bring in ideas to try but then they change.

Without this vitality art dies.

And I think, back to the Occupy movement, that they have remained so vital because they are not afraid to be in process, to Not know, to Not have an agenda, but be there anyway, saying: you know what: this isn't right.  We are the 99% and we are being screwed.  That's enough.  Yes, there will be calls to do this and that, and everyone and God with a half-baked progressive agenda will try to attach themselves to this movement, but at the core it's this: here we are.  We aren't going away.  Shit has got to change.

And it already Is changing.  News stories are being written that would never have been written a month ago, like the NYTimes article about how none of the presidential candidates are part of the 99% (except maybe one and they are not sure even about that one when savings are included).  That article does not get written in mid-September.  Bank of America backed off its debit card fees and now OWS even has port-a-potties.  Miracles do happen.  But not miracles, no, human action made this happen - real concerted action.

Rock on, 99%.  It's our time now.

I'm too old to sleep in the park with you all (plus teaching in the Bronx) but I will keep making my work, cheering you on at marches and fighting the good fight with my 'pen' (i.e. computer, blog, plays, etc...)

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