with a little help from my friends and all that....first of all, thank you everyone for your lovely notes on the blog, texts, emails and phone calls to check in and make sure I am/was OK. I cannot even begin to express how much that means. My friend Antonia is here still, heroically staying up late with me after we roasted marshmallows on an open gas stove flame (very romantic), preceded by a wonderful dinner of steak and chips at Eat17 (a surprisingly good restaurant here in ever-getting-trendier-oh-no-what-will-happen-to-the-rents-Walthamstow).
I have good news from the local council, that they can help me out with rent, but have to wait for news from landlord about whether they will put me down as a sole tenant on a new lease. This was not something I expected and the anxiety about that was where I focused much of my energy today. I was also in shock, the house suddenly empty of my husband's stuff and felt weirdly relaxed but with prickly skin. Prickly skin I've discovered over the past few days is like a weather forecast, which indicates a massive sobbing session at some point.
And yes, after dinner and marshmallows, when I opened the bedroom closet that was empty, the sobbing began and luckily for me Antonia was downstairs not yet asleep and hugged me and let me get snot all over her dress. That is the sign of an excellent friend.
We talked and talked and now I am writing, because I know so many of you are reading, and I want you to know: yes it was a hard day, no I still don't know for sure where I will live yet, yes getting through these emotions will suck and yes, assuming you are all still around and willing to let me yammer on or sob on your shoulder, I will get through it.
And for the record folks, I have not given up on love. Not even now. No. Either Bill and I will work through this or someone new will come along and in either case I will be able to love more fully because of all this and in the meantime, I have all of you and that is more than a blessing.
It is life itself....At one point I had a book of photos of people in the theater that my stepfather David gave me (and I probably still have it but don't have the energy to dig it out now) and one of the people, I can't remember who, had these simple words as his saying and I will close with them:
Live. Life. Love.
Welcome to my blog..
"We struggle with dream figures and our blows fall on living faces." Maurice Merleau-Ponty
I am now transitioning into being married again with a new surname (Barclay-Morton). John is transitioning from Canada to NYC and as of June 2014 has a green card. So transition continues, but now from sad to happy, from loss to love...from a sense of alienation to a sense of being at home in the world.
As of September 2013 I started teaching writing as an adjunct professor at Fordham University, which I have discovered I love with an almost irrational passion. While was blessed for the opportunity, after four years of being an adjunct, the lack of pay combined with heavy work load stopped working, so have transferred this teaching passion to private workshops in NYC and working with writers one on one, which I adore. I will die a happy person if I never have to grade an assignment ever again. As of 2018, I also started leading writing retreats to my beloved Orkney Islands. If you ever want two weeks that will restore your soul and give you time and space to write, get in touch. I am leading two retreats this year in July and September.
I worked full time on the book thanks to a successful crowd-funding campaign in May 2014 and completed it at two residencies at Vermont Studio Center and Wisdom House in summer 2015. I have done some revisions and am shopping it around to agents and publishers now, along with a new book recently completed.
I now work full-time as a freelance writer, writing workshop leader, coach, editor and writing retreat leader. Contact me if you are interested in any of these services.
Not sure when transition ends, if it ever does. As the saying goes, the only difference between a sad ending and a happy ending is where you stop rolling the film.
For professional information, publications, etc., go to my linked in profile and website for Barclay Morton Editorial & Design. My Twitter account is @wilhelminapitfa. You can find me on Facebook under my full name Julia Lee Barclay-Morton. More about my grandmothers' book: The Amazing True Imaginary Autobiography of Dick & Jani
In 2017, I launched a website Our Grandmothers, Our Selves, which has stories about many people's grandmothers. Please check it out. You can also contact me through that site.
In May, I directed my newest play, On the edge of/a cure, and have finally updated my publications list, which now includes an award-winning chapbook of my short-story White shoe lady, which you can find on the sidebar. I also have become a certified yoga instructor in the Kripalu lineage. What a year!
And FINALLY, I have created a website, which I hope you will visit, The Unadapted Ones. I will keep this blog site up, since it is a record of over 8 years of my life, but will eventually be blogging more at the website, so if you want to know what I am up to with my writing, teaching, retreats and so on, the site is the place to check (and to subscribe for updates). After eight years I realized, no, I'm never turning into One Thing. So The Unadapted Ones embraces the multiplicity that comprises whomever I am, which seems to always be shifting. That may in fact be reality for everyone, but will speak for myself here. So, do visit there and thanks for coming here, too. Glad to meet you on the journey...
HAROLD (de lion) has your back
ReplyDeleteOn a light note: I love that the Spar in the 'stow sells Eat17 pizza!
ReplyDeleteAside from the bread wonders that can be found in the village there, I'm heartened to read that you'll not give up on love. :)
Again, sending you good vibes from So. London!